How many times in a day does your teen yell "you don't get me, you just don't know me. Leave me alone!" ?
You'd say "If I had a nickel..." Well we agree your teen is not the best communicator when they spill out of spite instead of just being mature about it. You will also agree that you don't recognize your once-upon-a-time sweet kid anymore. To get things sorted, here is an open letter from teenagers to all parents out there.
Dear Mom and Dad,
I'm changing. I can't quite yet point to what exactly in me is changing but things seem different now. I know you are busy with your work and I'm adding to the list of things you have to deal with everyday but, I don't mean to do that. Last night when I showed you attitude when you asked me to pick up after myself you must be wondering why is this a problem now all of a sudden? It actually isn't but my reaction was due to that bully in school I was thinking about.
When I ignored your missed calls it's not because I'm embarrassed of you but because I didn't want to be ridiculed in front of my friends. When I had agreed to clean my room and later on disagreed to that agreement ever happening was because I forgot about it amidst the school politics. The other day when you lovingly gave me a goodnight kiss and I shooed you away was because I sometimes feel smothered. I need you to understand that I'm not a little kid anymore. I'll always remain your little child but that person for me is the past. I feel the need to be treated as an equal. I want you to understand that I can take responsibility, even if I fail to showcase it. I need you to trust me and, most of all
I need you.
I need you to pick me up because I know I'll fall. My mood swings seem to be out of my control, my friends change everyday. My recklessness gets me into wrong places so I need you. I need you to bring me back. I need you to listen to me when I speak. Things might seem dramatic but please give me a chance to ask for your opinion instead of yelling them at me always. I need you not only to be my friend but also to be my mentor for I know nobody else will have unselfish guidance for me like you do. You might not like the change in me but please accept me as I am because I'm already fighting with the world around me, trying to fit in. I just wish I wouldn't have to do that with you. Try to see the good in me; I need your motivation because I'm already struggling with self confidence. Don't be so strict neither do I want you to be too lax because your rules are some of the things that help me establish my boundaries. If you catch me doing something wrong, don't freak out because I'm probably doing that because I'm freaked out myself. Help me distinguish the right from the wrong. Although it seems like I don't want to spend time with you,deep down I do. I just need to see that understanding in you. That assurance which will make me believe that you're always there even when everyone else leaves.
I'm sorry for hurting you all those times when I was unable to tell you all this. Hope this helps convey that I need you and I love you. I love you because I know friends come and go but family; family stays.
With love,
Your Teenager
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