Attention Please part 03

We discussed types of Attention Seeking in the previous post. For those of you who don't know this, excessive attention seeking can be carried forth/ evolved in adults too. How?

Brains  wired to equate lack of attention as dangerous, naturally respond to it as threat in the amygdala, a subcortical structure, where thinking does not occur. Now the anterior cingulate cortex (ACC), which is like a micromanaging mother, “don’t do this, do that, stop that, go here, don’t go there” can intervene in this, if given the opportunity.[Ref: psychology today]

In simpler words, one doesn't think when it comes to seeking attention. Things, people and situations just become means to an end.

Since the first discussion of this topic we have told you that attention seeking mainly occurs due to lack of self esteem/ self worthiness.

How to deal with Attention Seeking? 
Well, the basics are, listen.You will tell me that the teenagers don't talk except for ,"just leave me alone." Well, I won't deny that. But that's because at some point they feel you might not lend them a careful, understanding ear like their friends-drowing-in-the-same-boat will do. They feel they might come across as silly and you won't get it. Sometimes, it is even difficult to accept the lack of self esteem let alone admitting to it. So, encourage your teenager to talk.
Be their friend. Listen to them like you listen to news/gossip. 
Secondly, Encourage them.  Encourage them to be themselves. Deny as much as you may but in this world of the Kardashians and at the same time Malala, it's easy to lose self identity. Teenagers are busy trying to "fit in." Encourage them to "stand out" if that means to be true to their ideals and values. Tell them it's not silly of them for writing a journal. Anne Frank did that and look what it gave us. Don't lecture, don't be a snooze. Let them drop a rap to vent it out but accept the changes and guide them. Thirdly, Don't compare. They might not be the best. They are having their own little struggles, you have been there too but it was different then, it's different now. Don't compare them to their friends, neighbor's children, cousins, siblings and for god sakes not to "when I was your age." Trust me, I know you mean well but it doesn't send that message across but creates hatred and then they start 'blowing you off.' Accept that it's all different for them and they need you, their attention seeking screams they need you to be there and hold them like never before. So be there as a ear, as a friend and secretly as a parent. 

Write to us in the comments or on our facebook page https://www.facebook.com/WhatTeenagersWantYouToKnow/ about the changes you see and share your experience. Open to both adults and teenagers. Until then, stay tuned for the upcoming drama worthy topics like...Relationships.